The culture of the world is the culture of the home if we aren’t intentional in making a culture within our home.

Something I have noticed in my home over the years is this very real and seemingly apparent theme that my husband and I ‘set the tone’ within our family and home. We are the models. The example of how to act and how not to act. As humans, we mess up. We’re not perfect, and so the same issues are seen time and time again within the character of our children. My husband and I created these issues and taught our children through our own lack of self-control and/or patience. As parents, I have found that we can get so busy and lost in our day-to-day that we don’t take the time to see our children. We get into this rut—stuck on auto-pilot, giving our children only yes/no answers, getting frustrated at the drop of a hat, and forgetting the most crucial part of parenting—paying attention.

What We’re Up Against

We are so truly blessed to have these tiny humans under our wing. We get to cultivate their hearts and minds. Children bring so much joy to our lives. The problem we face is the constant barrage of negative talk on social media and TV that tells us children are burdens, stop us from achieving, and that this parenting gig is ‘a thankless job.’ I don’t know about you, but there have been more than one occasion where my children thanked me for what I do at home.

The Solution

Creating a nurturing family culture is the paramount responsibility of parents today. It not only shapes our own mindsets but also those of our children. We must set the tone and lead by example. Defining what we want our family culture to be is crucial, as without a clear vision, it can be unintentionally shaped for us. For some, this may work, but for others, especially those who have experienced a broken or violent home like I did, the results can be devastating. We must take proactive steps to break negative cycles and heal mindsets.

Get Outside

Engaging in outdoor activities and family outings is not just a way to break the monotony of daily life. It’s an exciting opportunity to foster a strong family culture. It opens up a world of possibilities, provides opportunities to address character issues, and creates lasting memories and experiences. It’s a chance to see our children in a different light, to watch them grow and learn, and to bond as a family. It’s not just an activity, it’s a journey of growth and discovery.

Questions to ask before taking on family activities:

Why do we want to start a new family activity?

What will this activity accomplish?

How could this activity impact our family and family culture?

How can we utilize the experience?

Number Your Days

Sometimes, I think of being old with my children out of home; I wonder what they would look back at and think about when it comes to their childhood.

Psalms 90:12-14 says:

So teach us to number our days, That we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. Return, O LORD, how long? And let it repent thee concerning thy servants. O satisfy us early with thy mercy; That we may rejoice and be glad all our days.

​This scripture reminds us that life is short. Our time on Earth is numbered, and we should see it as the precious gift it is. I implore you to number your days. I believe this is a significant step for anyone to take. A fear of death can be intense, but the fear of regret and a life wasted is greater. We can’t truly look at our life and know the purpose. We make a purpose for ourselves to make sense of our existence. The same is true for parenting. We need a purpose for how we parent. We need a guiding principle that gives our parenting a sense of direction and meaning.

Create a Team Environment

Creating a team environment has less to do with diplomacy and more to do with leadership. There is a misconception in parenting that to be loving, we need to allow our children to weigh in on every decision. Parenting, however, should only be diplomatic between parents. We are God-appointed leaders and have the responsibility to lead. Leading doesn’t always mean dictating, but it does mean saying no to candy for breakfast and saying yes to a reasonable bedtime so they can have the sleep they need. Many kids, given the chance, would eat candy all day and stay up so late it became morning. We are the leaders for a reason. We have lived, and we have made mistakes, and we are still learning to walk, communicate, and function in the world. Leaders don’t just command; they listen and consider different ideas and ultimately hold the decision-making power.

Final Thoughts

Essentially, to build a strong and nurturing family culture, we must know our role as role models, have an idea of what we want for the future, and take actions that grow and cultivate character within ourselves and our children.